The Hangover

Everybody's been there. You wake up after an epic night of partying feeling like Kimbo Slice just laid you out like a silver platter, and all you can think about is why did I have so much to drink last night?

Well, I had one of those mornings this past Saturday, and decided to write a little about this new theory I've been concocting.

Regarding the Road to Recovery for Hangovers, there are a couple of levels that you have to pass.

First Level: The Sitting Up Stage
Explanation: It may or may not be well known, but standing/sitting up too quickly after drinking can result in high levels of puke-age. I'm usually wicked dehydrated at this point so I'm not tryna throw up some valuable liquids. Usually I grab a water bottle or Powerade and try to get some hydration goin on.
Status: 5% recovered

Second Level: The Jump Down, Walk Around Stage
Explanation: For those of us who suffer from sleeping on the top bunk bed, the last thing you want to do is propel yourself off the bed and jolt your whole body. I'm all about getting on my sloth grind and doing as little physical activity until I'm back to 100%.
Status: 20% recovered

Third Level: The Sacred Shower Stage
Nothing is more soothing than the feel of running water cleaning away various odors and grime that may have collected over the night. This is perhaps the most important stage, as it also signals the start of a new day, a threshold of sorts lol. Usually it should last about twice as long as a normal shower.
Status: 75% recovered

Fourth and Final Level: The Breakfast Club Stage
Here's the part where you get some life back into you. Go to breakfast, grab some fruit to get those nutrients back, talk about what happened last night with the Bro-bots, and shoot the breeze. With this and the Shower you should be back in business in no time.
Status: 100% recovered

There ya go, I recommend drinking water before you go to sleep to nullify all of this!! Now, if only I could follow my own advice...