A Scene from My English Class

Here's a scene that happened in my English class yesterday:

Teacher: "As all of you know, your paper is due on Friday. However, it's kind of a gray area deadline because I won't be reading your papers Friday Night. Wanna know why?"

Class: *puzzled stares* "Why?"

Teacher: "Because I'm goin out Friday Night that's why! Maybe I'll take a look at them Saturday afternoon, but I will not be reading them Saturday Night, wanna know why?"

Class: "You're going out Saturday night?"

Teacher: "You're damn right I'm goin out Saturday night. *pauses* Now that I think about it, here's what I will be doing Sunday. I'm going to wake up, smoke some cigarettes, read the newspaper, heck maybe go to mass, and thennnnn I'll take a look at your papers. So, just make sure that it's in before I read them."

Smartass Kid: "What if it's not in before you read it?"

Teacher: "Then you fail. And that will not look good on your report card when there's a big fat 'F' on there. *reconsiders for a second* Actually, I've never given anyone an F before."

Random Kid: "How many D's have you given out?"

Teacher (thinking): "Hmm...nope I've never given any D's."

Another Kid: "What about C's?"

Teacher (thinking again):"...there was one C."

El Fin.


Boo Yah.